This is my first persuasive writing. Read it and comment on it if in need some more detail.
Chewing gum is so yum.
I think we should have lollies and chewing gum at school.
One reason why we should have lollies and chewing gum at school is because the tamariki will smile when the doing there work.
Another reason why we should have chewing gum and lollies to school is because we will pick up our rubbish if we don't pick our rubbish we will have to do Miss Simeon lines.
The Last reason lollies can make them hyper. Hyper is when you get crazy jumping up and down laughing with your friends and having fun.
Like I said the tamariki like to smile and to be hyper.
In summary, I believe we should bring chewing gum and lollies to school.I think this because the tamariki and smile when they're doing there work and playing.
My nexts steps
To use connectives to add more supporting detail
Check that my sentences make sense
Add emotive language
Add rhetorical questions
